Wow. Five Years of Boring Togetherness.
Wow. It's been five years and it feels like we just got married yesterday. Five years sounds like a long time, but it just passed us by. Just like that. I am truly blessed with this marriage, by this guy I married. :) If there is anything I'd thought a marriage to be, it's not easy. But our marriage, so far, scared as I am to admit it, is easy. There is lightness to our togetherness, openness, and the willingness make fun of ourselves. Not to say that we don't have our share of challenges, but we've learned to focus on what is most important to us. That made decisions faster to make and anxieties easier to overcome. Jaysen's disposition is a big factor in all of this. His presence is calm and dependable. A welcome balance to my frantic, panic pace. He makes me feel secure at all times. He is quick to forgive and much quicker to forget (because he's an old man) :). An anti-thesis to my elephant memory. He indulges my whims (most of the time) and goes out of the time for the things he knows are important to me. Jaysen is such a low-maintenance husband. I don't have to wake up early to prepare breakfast or even make his coffee. He can do it himself. He fixes his stuff and keeps his things neat and organized. I don't worry if we run out of food because he'd willingly eat canned tuna or Andok's for dinner. :) I'd worry more if we run out of dog food than run out of human food. :)... because there's always delivery or Andok's. :)
This union has been happily boring. It is sorely lacking in the drama department. It wouldn't pass for a B-grade telenovela. The only time I ugly-cried was when our dog, Loki, barfed. Looking back, it's actually pretty hilarious. Jaysen slipped and fell on the kitchen floor that time I cried when I saw Loki barfing. He had a bad cough. :) In marriage, I discovered, boring is good. Routine and predictability are comforting. Simplest things can bring the greatest of joys. Sleeping in on a weekend. Enjoying Sunday lazy brunch in a nearby café. Just listening to old alternative music in my pajamas the whole day is bliss. There is also a quiet kind of excitement. The type when you learned a new dish, achieved a shared goal, or dream new dreams.
I am thankful that our faith anchored everything in our marriage. That early on, we were taught through a series of pre-wedding counselling, that we have to make God the center of our marriage before each other. Five years into it, I have greatly appreciated God's design for a marriage. The roles of a man and a woman clearly defined. This has helped us avoid a lot of heartaches. The husband is the family's leader, both physically and spiritually. I am quite content not to have to bear such burden. :) The most challenging command for me was submitting to Jaysen. To anyone who knows me (especially my parents), submissive is the last thing they can think of if asked to describe me. I can be very opinionated and strong-willed. Everyday, I have to seek God's grace and surrender my pride to be able to submit to Jaysen. Even if I know I'm right :) (sometimes). The greatest gift and promise for wives is that husbands are commanded to love their wives as Jesus loves the Church. What can be more special? This means even if I give up control, I know Jaysen will protect me and put our best interest first. Difficult as it is, marriage is not about one's self. It's actually losing yourself for a shared identity. It's not you and me, but us. All the time.
I eagerly look forward to the years of adventure ahead of us. Years when we will learn more of each other (good and bad), discover extent of our patience and capabilities, dream wilder dreams. I am sure it will not be all rosy, and we will have to face adversities. But in all of those I am equally certain that God will be with us and He is faithful and steadfast. He will pull us through the deepest valleys and bring us to the highest peak in life.
Happy five years to us!