Years pass, the novelty of everything being new wears off, we fall into a comfortable routine. On weekdays, we are already up before the sun to get ready for work and get back home by the time the evening news is winding down. We have late dinners together, catch up for a while, then early to bed. Repeat five times. Weekends are precious. These are the days when we get to sleep in, have a lazy breakfast, then do nothing for the rest of the day. As a married couple, this is our new normal. I thought I got this down to pat. We can go on cruise-mode just like this. No problem. But true to everything, there are things that surprise you. And this is not always a pleasant surprise. There will days that a wrench gets throws into the gears. These can be small things that ruin our day, things that I thought I have already gotten over with early on or I thought he is already used to by now.
My daily challenge is getting over Jaysen's morning grumpiness. I am surprised, that after almost five years, this still affects me the most. Don't get me wrong, he is not mean grumpy. Unlike Grumpy the dwarf, but more inaudible and disengaged. He can barely utter grunts and three-letter responses to my long-winded questions. This poses a perennial problem as I am a morning person, already belting JT's Can't Stop The Feeling in the shower when it's not even five in the morning. Jaysen is barely sociable before lunch. :) He just meets the minimum acceptable requirement expected of an adult on regular days. That is our yin and yang. There are times that I don't mind it anymore, but on my bad days I zero in on it. I feel hurt, unappreciated, and rebuffed. These kind of days when I sometimes wonder to myself, what did I get into? Can I stand this for the next fifty years? What is the return policy on this guy? I am sure he is also thinking the same things. Hahaha. :) I remember one breakfast we had when I was excitedly telling him a drawn-out story about my friends and asking his opinion. And he just told me, flatly, "I need silence". True to form, being the more mature half of this couple, I gave him the silent treatment the rest of the day until he apologized. :)
It is during these days, that I remind myself to step back, hold my (sharp) tongue, and appreciate the bigger things. It is also the time where I catch and correct my self for being selfish. It certainly helps that we have a weekly D-Group which reminds us about God's design for marriage and prompts us to think about things in our marriage that we are grateful for. In marriage, there is no space for an "I" mentality. For a marriage to work, we always have to choose "Us" everyday. Sure, there will things that irritate us daily, there are stuff we wish are done sooner, better, or another way. As individuals, we are bound to disagree. But amidst, all the disagreement, one thing need to be cast in stone: We will disagree with love and choose to forgive. When I am faced with this challenge, I force my self to appreciate my spouse even more. I mentally list down all the this I love about him, to the smallest detail. As we were taught as children count your blessings, name them one by one. I love that he is very reliable. He is the rock to my marshmallow. I love that he wakes up early with me even if he didn't have to, just so he can make my sandwich and tea for breakfast on-the-go. I love how he goes shopping with me and doesn't complain when I explain the countless shades of pink. I love how he'd let me use his car when mine falls on it's coding day. I love how he doesn't say a thing when I commit a boo-boo. When I do this, all the things I gripe and whine about seem to melt away and feel so insignificant. This makes me ever more grateful to the Lord for blessing me with my lifetime partner. The Lord's plan and design is indeed always the best for us.
Everyday, through God's grace, we are able to choose US.